My other weekends and weekdays were pretty uneventful. At this point, I am several days out from my departure and I’m just really excited to be home. My experience in Senegal has been challenging but it has been a good experience over all. I’ve come to understand a new religion and a new lifestyle. My host family is challenging and it’s interesting because every time I get upset that something goes wrong with my family I just remember what my Dad said, since the farm hosted students when he was younger, that every family functions like a family. No family is perfect and communication isn’t always going to be easy. They also aren’t going to go out of their way to change their life, you are adapting to their lifestyle not the other way around. I think it’s important to remember this.
I have also realized from this situation how lucky I am to be from the U.S. Women here are in an extremely fragile situation where they are attempting to gain their independence in some ways but they must also continue to satisfy some traditions. I have had men grab my ass and think it was perfectly fine. For instance, one day I stepped off the bus and some old man pretending to be blind just randomly caught a free feel. No blind man can aim as well as he did. I’m so proud of my host mom because, although I feel she won’t give me an inch, she works 5 and a half days a week. She is always tired and sometimes I have to remind myself that she’s impatient and tough on me because she’s tired herself.
I have also had many discussions with my housekeeper. In some ways I have built my strongest connection with her because she’s the one who told me her real story. Her family lives in St. Louis which is about 4 hours north. She’s in Dakar working for my family but at the cost of leaving her little girl behind with her family. She returns for the wet season to help her family but I can tell she really misses her child and her family. She also says her biggest regret is giving up her studies. It’s hard realizing that she had everything going for her and now she spends her days all alone in our house cleaning and cooking. She never told me why she couldn’t finish her studies but I know she’s frustrated with her situation. Although I try to be a cultural relativist towards treatment on women here, my host father is incredibly rude to her and my host mom is even more impatient with Ami than she is with me. I feel bad because there seems to be nothing pleasant in her day. Last Friday I cooked for my family and we had a lot of fun cooking together. I was glad we had a fun activity together. I know it’s just the cycle of life and there are always going to be women like Ami, but it’s still hard to know that she gave up her studies to marry then divorce and have to leave her child behind while she’s gone half the year. I take solace in the fact that she has a bed and good food with my host family and she certainly could be in worse conditions. There is always something worse.
Being in Senegal has changed me I’m sure but I don’t know in what ways yet. I’m definitely more patient here although that may back fire once I return when I expect everything to function perfectly haha. I also appreciate my life back home much more. As my dad said, he could rub holes in Lola’s floorboards to make me feel at home, but I feel more at home where watching the road means through an uncracked windshield rather than through the man-eating holes in floorboards. I’m excited to live in DC this summer and be able to compare a U.S. city to Dakar because for me one of the most difficult adjustments was just living in a city. There are so many people and so many cars it was just chaotic.
I also realized I will never participate in Peace Corp. It was a sad and disappointing realization for me, but I also found alternative volunteer opportunities where I will be better protected. Had I never come to Senegal, I could have been in over my head going off for two years to another place. First off, I got my own fair taste of the village that weekend in Toubacouta and there is nothing to romanticize about it. It’s dirty, filthy, unhealthy, and hotter than you could ever imagine. One student who was here for his second time finishing up grad school work said his first visit he was in a village. He said they lived on couscous (not like Moroccan couscous this stuff is literally like eating sand) and leaves. When the kids caught a huge rat they ate it. He lost 35lbs. I also did my research. I feel safe in Dakar most days but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had some scary moments. Luckily here, if something WERE to happen, there is a great staff here to help me. My research about the Peace Corp leads me to believe that they will leave women in any situation until it results in violent and life changing events such as rape even as far as murder. I’m not willing to participate in something as corrupt as that. As much as I want to witness the world and help make it a better place, I would never do so at the cost of my own life.
When I was preparing to leave I had all these ideas of what Senegal would be like. What is an African nation like? I found out the easy way and in a healthy environment. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. It had its ups and downs. I ended up in tears a few times, I have been angry, but I have also had fun and learned more than any classroom could ever teach. I suppose that’s the sappy stuff. I just can’t wait to be home! Four months was long enough for me haha!
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